For today

To say I'm struggling would be less than accurate. I'm believing that some of my issues are running way deeper than I could ever have imagined.

To say I'm ready to give up would be not accurate either. On any give day, at any given time, yes, I'm ready to just let it be. (It being all my daily issues)

To say that I'm on the road to recovery, once more, not accurate. Guess that depends on which road I'm on..now, tomorrow...whenever.

The issues:

1. food
my body's response to food
my head's ideas about food
my life....and food!

2. exercise
my body's response to lack of exercise
my head's ideas about exercise
my life....and exercise!

3. spirituality
my body's response to the spirit in action
my head's ideas about the spirit
my life....and the spirit within me

All three are big, life changing areas of anyone's life, mine included!
With super human strength I can tackle it all. (go SuperWoman).
With my every day strength I can tackle some of it. (go Doll)
With the very centre of my strength I can tackle one area. (this is reality)

So here's the big question: How do I achieve all three and feel a unity of body, mind and soul?

Words of wisdom kindly accepted.


Til I'm moved to write again....

Doll

Nick's special Day.

As Sundays go this one was really great! A special day of worship and rehearsals topped off with a great dinner at The Table . Not a raw dinner but definitely vegetarian. Both Nick and I love the food there and since we went at 4pm it was not busy. We went as part of Nick's birthday celebration. I finished at rehearsal at 3:30 and down town we journeyed.

We have many favorite places to eat but The Table is one of those places where I can go and not be tempted by all the favs. of fast or bar food. I did enjoy a small piece of pumpkin pecan cheese cake...oh my. This was definitely a treat for me.

The first part of the day was raw: banana and watermelon AND 2 raw crackers.

I'll add that a wee bit of chocolate cake topped off the day.

Nick was sung to, received a couple of gifts and will spend the evening with a gorgeous woman by his side. (that would be me lol) What more can anyone ask for?

My week begins tomorrow with a day off. I will relax, spin, knit and perhaps go to the pool. Some candles and soft music will sooth my busy mind. There will be a fire in the wood stove to give the home a nice warm feel.

Want to join me?

til again,
Doll

Before I go to sleep....

A few thoughts.....

Some times my melancholy takes hold of me and I appear to sink. What generally happens is that I become blue in spirit but then quite creative. I often end up re-constructing some aspect of my life during these times. I could say they are times of distress but that's probably not true. More often than not it just a matter of fatigue; possibly reminiscent of times when, as a child, I was homesick.

I was never really homesick for the house or the surroundings but for my Dad. I would be surrounded by friends, good friends and family but if my Dad wasn't with me there was an emptiness that would come over me. My blue times; my tiredness; my hunger for the one person who gave unconditional love came and went as days do.

Days like today my feelings are more related to my fatigue than to me missing my Dad. I have a wonderful man in my life who gives unconditionally of himself, his time and his love for me. Do I still miss my Dad? Of course but the thoughts are different now. (I'll share more of this later)

The real ticket here is what to do as I reach out of the mire. I try many things...walking, spinning, mindless distraction with tv and games but what really hits the pit of my stomach and pulls me out is the music. Currently I'm listening to the "SPA" channel on cable...pipes, flutes, soft, soothing. This type of music is good for me to relax and prepare for bed. On the opposite side of the spectrum not so good if I'm terribly sad.

Today I have enjoyed teaching, enjoyed baking, finished some sock yarn and listened to the soft rain. The day has been good; filled with love and many blessings. Regardless of my mood I always remember....this day is a gift!

So for today my music for the soul: something rich with strings and soft, heart-like beating. A time to relax, enjoy and reflect.

And tomorrow????


til again
Doll

Where did the summer go?

I know people often ask this question but this year I mean it i! Where were the hot, humid days; the sleepless nights due to the heat; the moments you count until you can plunge into the pool or lake? Don't get me wrong the summer was wonderful for me. The garden thrived and offered us many great veggies and some beautiful flowers. The pool was inviting and was my main source of exercise; going in some days 2 or 3 times during the day. The days were cooler and many days with some rain. Guess just not typical for this area. For us in Stittsville...fewer storms! That's a major bonus for me.

I'm sitting here holding a beautiful grey bunny we just named "Babs" She has a really nice barred colouring that I love. Much of the time she sits on my lap and is quite affectionate. (I'll post more about our rabbitry later)


This week in RAWville:

Made a re-commitment to my journey this week. I've purchased some really nice fruits and veggies and have been staying as green as possible. My food cravings (addictions) are to be broken. This is not easy for me but necessary. I choose to live a long and healthy life!

I had some major issues with my back yesterday. Not sure what I did but again, I'm determined not to let this get in the way of what I want and need to do. My life continues bad back or not. The pain is much less today and I know once I get moving it will loosen up even more. I'm really missing the swimming so Nick and I will look into renewing our memberships at the local pool for the winter.

Even though the sun is still hiding I have a lone sunflower smiling at me this morning to cheer my day.

Sending you sunshine and flowers today!

til again
Doll

Fun, frolic and fall!

I met up with the "Raw Divas" at the "Simply Raw" Food Festival in Ottawa this weekend. I love meeting new friends.

In the picture: Amy, Me, Tera! Does it look like I was having fun? You betcha!


The afternoon (I wasn't able to spend the day) was filled with lots and lots of information, great speakers,and raw prepared dishes to try. A positive event that I thoroughly enjoyed!

My journey on the raw food path has been up and down hill and around many bends. I'm very excited to be able to learn as much as I can as I explore what my body is really telling me.

What I've learned so far:

• I need to be kind to myself
• Guilt free living is possible (when it comes to food)
• Listening to my body is very important
  
• I continue to love watermelon and blueberries
• traditional meals still call to me but no longer taste as pleasing as they once did

I'm sure there is much more but I will ponder this more.

The rest of today is for me. Sunday afternoons and Mondays are my days to just be me. That is exactly what I plan to do. If I feel like walking or swimming I will...if not...that's ok as well.

Do you have a plan for your day?

Listen to your heart..hear the quiet conversations that the heart shares in each beat....

til again,

Doll

Look at me! Someone gives me a challenge, any challenge and I jump on board!!!! I had so much fun doing this. Read down the blog from the link to hear all about it!


Today is Sunday...so 1/2 day working then 1/2 day for me to relax and enjoy my life.

I had some friends over for lunch after church and we're heading out for dinner at another friends house! Wow...didn't know I was a party hopper eh?

Enjoy the gift that is today!

Big hugs
Doll

mid-August

Well, almost half-way through the month and I realized I haven't posted here in a while. Life has been in the way...at least in the way of my creativity.

Food: mostly raw fruits and veggies

Still holding on to: ice cream, pizza, assorted sweets, salt

Gave up for good: coffee!

I've begun work with a personal trainer at the gym. This is to help me with my "form" with the weights etc so that I don't hurt myself. Since my back problems mid-June I've been very careful with my exercise.

The swimming is going well except for the cooler temps. Really hard to get much heat from a solar collector when the sun isn't shining. lol

I started swimming 8 lengths then moved on to 16. I was challenged to give myself a goal one night and did 32. This week I managed 40! I've done the calculations. I need 100 laps to swim 1 mile. This is my goal by the end of the summer.

So

Sunshine? Where are you dear sunshine? lol


til again
Doll

My creativeness is shining again!

(cross posted from another journal)

Patience is the key to paradise. (Turkish proverb)

I read this today and it has really stuck with me.

My affirmation: my patience is my paradise.


I used to pray for patience. A dear friend pointed out that when I prayed for patience I would be sent things to test the patience. Not sure I totally believed her but sure got me thinking. On the other hand I no longer pray for patience but rejoice in the patience I have now.

My home is my castle? Not quite but it is my refuge and my paradise. I believe I can create my paradise. I surround myself with great friends, loving family members, enjoy my home and nourish myself with great food. Is this not paradise? Now to find my pillow and sweet rest. All's right with the world. At least for a little while.

Sweet dreams.

Doll

This is me, now...moving forward..using the tools I've been given...always.

Why do I stop using them when I know they work? Definitely a question to ponder!

Each moment, each day, each step brings me closer to the life I DECIDE to have.

This is me, now!

blessings!

A refreshing image

Decided to change my profile picture. This was taken on Canada Day 2008 while I was enjoying the pool.

My journey continues. My goal was to be a goal weight by December 31st, 2008. Am I half way there? Not quite but very close. I'm excited because I'm actually seeing and feeling results.

I'm eating 70% raw fruits and veggies with meat and salad for my evening meals. Meat is not every day however. I let my body dictate what I feel like at that point. Mostly raw until the end of July at which time I will evaluate what my body feels like and which road I want to take. Could be the same; could be something different.

I like to shake things up from time to time. lol

Off to enjoy the evening.

Sweet dreams..

Doll

Happy Saturday!

I'm just so excited!

I've dumped 9 lbs since last Friday, have more energy and am committed to finishing the 30 days with everyone! (in the BES program)

I made the decision yesterday to enjoy some chicken. So we deliberately went to one of our fav. restaurants and had chicken and a salad..dressing on the side. (which I found I really didn't need) The rest of the day was smoothies and watermelon.

Today I've enjoyed 1/2 of a honey dew and found it incredibly sweet. Are my taste buds so totally changing? Awesome!

8:30 this morning and I was in the pool. The weekend will be hot and sunny so you will easily find me in and out of the pool. I have 3 days left on my "stay-cation" and plan to enjoy every second of it.

Getting through this week was tough (with my daughter leaving). Having a specific program to focus on really helped me stay positive. End of day yesterday I was exhausted. Had a great night's sleep.

Energy? For sure. Nothing's going to hold me down!!!

How is your energy level?

Love you all!
Doll

for today

My affirmation:

I have a belief system and a strong faith that sees me through.

I am strong and confident in what I do.

Unseeing, outside of understanding, the faith I have keeps me....simply keeps me.

Have a great day...singing, smiling and loving.

Doll

Opening up my possibilities!

I am talented and have a recording in the wings.

Well, not yet but...

The inspiration: someone suggested that I should do a recording

...lying in the sun chatting with my daughter I came up with the title:

"Lift Up the Spirit"

That will also be the title track...I have yet to write. lol

I have 2 solid pieces chosen and will do a total of 12.

How's that for dreaming, envisioning, and beyond?

Do you have a dream?

Oh yes and this one is start within this year.

The songs will be written this summer.

A backer will be found in the early fall.

Recording?..January or February 2009.

If you are going to go...go big! Right?

Hugs

Doll

Success!

This is about me...my success, my journey!

Why is this such a difficult concept to grasp?

My life is coming together, bit by bit! I'm moving ever forward.

Listing my goals; reading my goals, doing my goals each day to reach my destination!

How are you doing with your goals? Is it time to re-evaluate?

A new month is just around the corner. Where are you heading in July?

Hugs

Doll

(from my Tools to LIfe Post)

My Vision

*cross posted from my Tools to Life page

My vision:

I am strong, happy and healthy. My weight is were it needs to be. I am surrounded by friends and family who support me. I support others, helping them become who they truly are. My career is full and rich in that it fills my spirit with great joy and love. The music in me nourishes those who listen. I am financially secure and able to give to others freely.

This is my life!

My journey this year is almost 1/2 over...I am moving forward...stronger and happier!

Til again,

Doll

My Life is My Decision!

Well, of course it is!!

You know, this sounds so simple. Positive thinking creating positive thoughts and results.

Why do I make my life so complex?

That's my journey for today. Today is for me.

To:

1. make my decisions

2. help others

3. create the life I live...now!

How about you? What is your day like??

Hugs to all

Doll. Now living in the second half of her life!

A re-visit!

As I was looking at what is no longer permitted in my kitchen I was please to see that I have achieved many of the goals I set before me.

I have no more white flour items in my cupboards. No more coffee shop pastries (actually no more coffee as well).; my snacks are now healthy fruits, veggies and raw crackers. Some sprouts from time to time.

I'm making green smoothies and loving them. My body is changing. Changing what it will accept as far as food goes and changing how my clothes feel. Wonderful!

Heading to bed early tonight...have an early start tomorrow.

Have you looked at your goals lately? How are you doing??

Hugs,
Doll

Mid week

I know, once again it's been a long time since I've been here. Alas gone but not forgotten!

Just been very busy with life. A good thing for sure.

Concerts, rehearsals, auditions etc and so much fun.

I have much of my food under control. The exercise is very much a work in progress but again, not forgotten.

Coffee is no longer a part of my life and for the next 28 days there will be no salt shaker on my table. For those of you who know me this is huge!

Each morning now starts with hot water with a slice of lemon followed by a fresh fruit smoothie. No dairy...just fruit. I love it. The weight is hovering but on the average still on a downward trend.

Definitely need a new bathing suit for the summer as well as a few other, smaller things. Great! Can you see me smiling????

Life continues...so do I.

How are you doing?

Til again,
Doll

The Nation's Capitol

Had to include one of me.




Thought I'd share some pics of our trip down town yesterday.

This weekend was the annual Tulip Festival. The flowers were beautiful. My camera didn't pick up the intensity of the colours.

We're heading out to the movies. I've had a really nice dinner and a great Mother's Day.

Hope all my friends have done something special today for someone they love.

Keeping on...keeping it fresh and simple!

Hugs
Doll

Happy Friday!

I know, it's been a week since you saw me last. Was my week crazy? You betcha! After last weekend's concert I basically went into rest mode. The fatigue is not about the time I spend but the amount of energy that goes into performance. It's invigorating and exciting but it does expend a lot of "me". Talk about burning calories!

This week I've been continuing with lots of fresh fruit and veggies. There's been a few no-no's on my plate this week but not enough to derail me. The coffee is totally gone. The coffee maker is now in the cupboard and we've purchased no bags of the good stuff. lol

Last Saturday I was able to pick up my new bunnies. Winnie and Bobby are now part of our family. So cute and fun! They are 1 1/2 years old, white, angoras! I was told they were litter trained which is true when they stay in their cage...outside of their confines is yet another story!

Been able to relax and get back to my second love which is washing, carding and spinning fiber. I picked up 2 pounds of raw suffolk that is washing up nicely. I find suffolk to be nice and strong for Nick's socks. These wear like iron. Which means they don't need repaired every week. lol

Well, off to enjoy the day. How about you? Ready to face the weekend???

Hugs

Doll