Saturday, September 27, 2008
Before I go to sleep....
A few thoughts.....
Some times my melancholy takes hold of me and I appear to sink. What generally happens is that I become blue in spirit but then quite creative. I often end up re-constructing some aspect of my life during these times. I could say they are times of distress but that's probably not true. More often than not it just a matter of fatigue; possibly reminiscent of times when, as a child, I was homesick.
I was never really homesick for the house or the surroundings but for my Dad. I would be surrounded by friends, good friends and family but if my Dad wasn't with me there was an emptiness that would come over me. My blue times; my tiredness; my hunger for the one person who gave unconditional love came and went as days do.
Days like today my feelings are more related to my fatigue than to me missing my Dad. I have a wonderful man in my life who gives unconditionally of himself, his time and his love for me. Do I still miss my Dad? Of course but the thoughts are different now. (I'll share more of this later)
The real ticket here is what to do as I reach out of the mire. I try many things...walking, spinning, mindless distraction with tv and games but what really hits the pit of my stomach and pulls me out is the music. Currently I'm listening to the "SPA" channel on cable...pipes, flutes, soft, soothing. This type of music is good for me to relax and prepare for bed. On the opposite side of the spectrum not so good if I'm terribly sad.
Today I have enjoyed teaching, enjoyed baking, finished some sock yarn and listened to the soft rain. The day has been good; filled with love and many blessings. Regardless of my mood I always remember....this day is a gift!
So for today my music for the soul: something rich with strings and soft, heart-like beating. A time to relax, enjoy and reflect.