Well friends, it's happened. I've totally lost my focus and continue to be in a state of confusion. So many options; so many choices. Mind boggling and numbing at the same time, I just can't make decisions and certainly not clear ones.
My days start well but slowly go down hill. Mostly due to fatigue. I put out so much energy when I teach and lead that my inner voice just caves.
So, my choices are not great and I'm left with guilt. (if you'd like specifics just send me an email)
As I continue to write I see that my focus isn't totally lost just moved. With 3 performances coming up the end of the month and a major concert just one week later...well I'm sure you can see why my mind isn't totally on my program or plan. And, let's not even talk about how this all makes me anxious and nervous. OH yes, it's all very exciting. The adrenaline rush as rehearsals build and become more refined. The constant questioning...will the music be ready? will the leads actually show up for the next rehearsal? will I be able to follow the ever changing script and make my cues...on time? will I manage another rehearsal with teenage girls who'd rather giggle and talk about their hair...without pulling mine out???
My day closes as I place my mind and heart in a quiet place; calming river and shining water. I find the peace coming slowly but surely and I'm ready for a night's sleep.
May you all find your pillows and sleep the sweet sleep that brings rest and refreshment. I know mine will be welcome.
Well my dearest friend, I am impressed knowing how many times I walk to the garage and wonder why I went there. Focus. A valuable quality. Integrity, grit and determination. Your showing it.
ReplyDeleteCoach Lombardi would be as proud as I am.
Nick